Warning: Slight NSFW ahead.
When Brittany knocked on my window early in the morning the day after we ‘sealed the deal’ that she was going to help me I wanted to back off. It would of been easier for sure to not wake up in the wee hours of the mourning to not try to stay awake, just to bury my head in my pillow and sleep halfaday then spend the rest of it crying, reminisceing, looking at old photographs and barely eating.. But Brittany had other plans. After she realized I wasn’t going out she tried to open the door and discovered that I actually didn’t even bother to lock it. Then she dragged me outta bed and said I had 5 minutes to get dressed or else she going to wake up Shari and get her to visit. That was like a cold shower. No I did not want to see Shari. Pregnant Shari. Distraught Shari. What ever. Either would hurt. I was up in no time and didn’t even take to long to find some workout clothes. Probably be cause most of my wardrobe were tracksuits anyways.
Ofcourse Brittany was wright and she could finally show me how she could out-run me.
I panicked hoping that I wouldn’t lose track of her, I couldn’t risk that with my lack of sense of orientation. That made me probably twice as fast as usual and after the excercise I was all wet from the sweat and my heart was beating uncontrolebly in my chest. And yet Brittany was always a few steps a head of me looking like she wasn’t even trying. Or maybe she was. Trying not to get two far a head. Dam, I felt like I was dealing with a proffessional athlete.
Falling into a routine didn’t take me to long. Running with Brittany, than most likely spending the whole afternoon looking at the pictures – well, I didn’t have a job and didn’t need too with the money I’d inherited – and in the afternoon Brittany visited again with an other vegan dish for me to taste.
She truely loved cooking, discovering new recipes on the web and adding afew of her special touches to them. I never thought I’d fall in love with vegan cuisine – or that I would even eat like a vegan being the son of my dad who’s favorite food was steak – but it happend. And it wasn’t long until I discovered that I was actually looking forward to these afternoons with Britt. Not only due to delicious food but also because she was a genuinly fun person to be round.
An exellent listener, never judged (or if she did she never let that show), always came up with reasoneble solussions when asked for advice. I liked hearing about her studies and what she was learning there. She was a top notch student from what I’d gathered. I mean, you didn’t even have to talk to her just look at her beautiful, clear notes filled with neat handwriting. It did help that she was so pationate about the subject of her studies. She truly believed in the idea of helping people who struggled with eating disorders or just any one who woulda need her guidance. Britt also told me that her initial choice would be psychology but she wanted something at least vaguly connectted to sport. So nutrition it was.
I in turn told her about my straggles with finding an educational path that would truely suit me. With my bestfriend Clint failing in so many fields I was worried about my own potenssial failyear. Britt suggested so many options but the truth was I simply wasn’t ready. Not at that moment anyways. I still had a long way to go with Becca and I didn’t feel like I could truly focus on education. She didn’t pressure and said that she understood. Then my thoughts drifted of too Becca and I thought she surely would force me to do that. But I was going to pick something. Some time for sure. It just… wasn’t the moment.
With the begining of winter I started getting back in to my old ways. The days were shorter, colder, darker and so was me crying under the blanket and just wishing to dissappear in to the general darkness. I realized that was the end of my morning runs. It was simply to cold and two slippery for it to be safe anymore. And yet again Brittany was that glimmer of hope and came up with a solution. So gym it was. I admit it took some convincing on her part but I finally agread. And some how seeing all those pumped guys gave me the motivation to do some thing bout my body. Yes I may off lost a few pounds by running but still I looked miserable and maybe even more so being slimmer. But you know it’s bullshit. I did that because I saw Brittany in a crop top emerging from the bathroom where she’d changed. And I thought I sure as hell was a dissgrace next to her. Also I ended up finally having my hair done as I should of done months before.
Oneday Britt thought that we should do some excercises together. I didn’t know though, that by ‘together’ she meant sitting on my back while I was doing pushups!
When I started protesting she fineally got up and laughed saying she wanted to test me after I’d spent so much time pumping iron. She promised that I could rest in the next one.
Imagine my surprise when she positioned herself on top of me, with her hands rapped around mine. And then she said that I was meant to hold them while she would be doing pushups. She never went past the first one though because when she got closer, it seemed natural for me to reach for her face and plant a kiss on her ever-so-dry lips.
Ofcourse she fell straight on my body when I let go of her hands and I rapped my hands round her thin waist feeling all the hard muscles she worked so hard for and the hot sweaty skin. Britt returned the kiss and I could feel myself grow hard with her laying on top of me with just the thin material separateing us from oneanother.
It didn’t happen that day. But I wasted no time and she didn’t neither. It seemd natural and easy, not atall complicated. I’d never suspecct that dating some one could be so simple and care free. Not after I spent most of my teenage years chasing after Shari triing to please her when she never knew her self what she wanted. Britt always knew that and it felt good knowing what was a yes and what a big no. It was always refreshing that she never changed her mind once she’d made the decision. She was easy to be round with, easy to love and her presence made me blissfuly happy. It almost felt like she was what I’d been waiting for my whole life. And she made me forget… things. I didn’t forget about Becca’s death ofcourse but I somehow managed to push memories of Shari to the back of my mind, some thing I hadn’t deemed possible before. I started treating her less like a person I felt destined to be with and more like a thing of the past. The past and memories that layed six feet deep along with my sister. It sounds horrable when I write it but that was how I felt. As if I’d finally moved on and buried it all once and for all. Clint, Becca, Shari, every one, they were the past, but Britt was the present and I knew then that I wanted her to be my future…
But of course life put a spanner in the works as it always tends too and brought me some painful realizations. It all started when Britt told me she was pregnant. You should of seen my jaw drop to the floor. It was like being rapidly stripped away of my paradise. All at once I realized I wasn’t living in a fairytale and I hated it.
And suddenly I wasn’t so sure if I wanted Britt to be my future. I just wanted out and back to my responsibility-free life again. It did feel like I turned 18 all over again (even though it had been nearly 2 years since than) and realized I was reelly an adult. But this time it was much more painful. I couldn’t get out now and I was scared like hell.
Note: Sorry it’s up later than usual, but my real got too busy and I only got around to taking pictures today. Can you tell I had way too much fun picking Britt’s outfits? She really could be a model! Just look at my avi and you can tell how obsessed with her I am, lmao. And yes, I do know I’m speeding things up, but I kind of… I need an heir! Yeah, but I love Britt and I hope you like her, too. I find it very fun to photograph her and also, I made these exercise poses. Don’t even tell me about making kissing poses, I hate it SO much. Also, notice the yellow light! I wasn’t kidding about sunshine. But yeah, it’s later than usual, still, I hope you enjoy it. Cheers! ♥