Warning: Foul language, talk of death and loss.
Their was a point in my life when I thought that Shari dumping me was the worst thing too happen to me. I was proven wrong when Mom died and I couldn’t function for months until coming to Sharis wedding and having the unstable stitches that held my heart two gether torn again. But nothing could prepare it for yet an other damage.
It felt unreal when I read about Rebecca C. in the newspaper. I felt like it wasn’t happening too me and I suddenly came up with alot of explanations. She couldn’t be the only Rebecca C. in the whole Bridgeport, could she? But all this just wasn’t doing it for me. Red. Her hair was red. The chances that their was another redheaded Rebecca C. who could get her self murdered were next to not existent (as bad as it sounded). Ok, Bridgeport was a big city. It couldn’t be. It couldn’t… Oh fuck, it is! Lost in thought I only realized I was crying when the first warm tears started runing down my cheeks. No, it wasn’t any other Rebecca C. It was Rebecca Calloway. I could feel it with every cell of my body when I looked at now blury pages of that dam newspaper. Maybe it was this magical sense that they said every twin got. I don’t know. All I knew was my sister was gone. Gone. But the days after the painful realizasion quickly proved me and my thinking that my life couldn’t get any more messed up wrong. I was not only forced to leave my home when all I wanted to do was not ever have to leave it again. I had to leave for the hospital. Apparently my dad saw the newspaper to. From what I heard the realization that his longlost daughter was gone broke his heart. Quiet literally because my dad had a severe heart attack. Severe? Rather lethal. Yes, it’s true. Just days after my sister’s death I lost my dad as well. When it rains, it pours, so it seems.
It was doubley hard when it was allover the media that a well-known racing driver, who spent his last days stuck in bed due to spine injury eventually passed away. I’d rather the press left me alone, but they needed me to attend various interviews to talk about my dad. I eventully had to shut my phone because it was ringing or signaling that I had new emails litrally all the time. And of course I was the only heir (not that Dad didn’t give family friends like Candy quite a big sum) to the readiculous amount of money that my dad had earned through out the years. So yes, I was practically filthy rich now. Did I feel happy now? I felt revealed to resign from my stupid part-time job in the spa. My only dream that was left was to lay down and wait for death to come and bring me too my dead family.
Not litrally. But that was how I was feeling this days. Utterlly hopeless when the numness I’d managed to acquire to cope with Mom’s death, my only shield from the pain went away. If my heart was in stitches back then, than it sure felt like all of them fractured at once, leaving a hole init.
Even though round the same time I lost all Shari (cause that’s how it felt), Becca and my Dad it was my twin sister that occuppied most of my thoughts. I spent my days laying in bed thinking of all the good moments we shared. Of her intelligent that always shone through. How she managed to come up with the most inconventional ways to get her way. I had memories of the time when she stole cookies for me and Shari. I remembered her as a kid who despite never actully trying always had the best grades. I could still picture the teenager who was the girl all of the boys’d die for. Including Clint her own brother. And finally I saw her as the determined young adult who was going to build a giant laboratory. I had no doubt she would get every thing she wanted and more. She was so young and so ambitous. But that man Harold Knight. I was certain it was him that put an end to her. She chos a dangerous lifestyle. Sometimes the quickest ways our not always the safest. No either I nor Clint knew how much she was really risking. What if that man worked out her plan to obtane his fortune? Got her killed so she couldn’t get her hands on it? If he had some kind of a mafia, their was no winning with him. I wanted revenge for my sister but I strongly douted the police was going to find the murderer. It was the sad reality.
When I was thinking of all the possible reasons I heard some one ringing the door. I swear if it’s yet an other journalist… No I’m not opening it.
The person kept ringing than knocking on the door for a long time untill they finally stopped… But than I heard rapping behind my head. Annoyed I turned round to see Brittany standing on the other side of the window. I could hear her mufflled screams through the glass. Sighing I opened the window.
“Fineally!” she said. “Now just let me in. I deserve a golden price for being forced to stand in the cold for so long.”
“Fine,” I snapped and reluctantely went to the front door to open it. She was holding a plate of cookies.
“Hay I brought cookies. There probably super cold by now but not my fault.” I was definately not in the mood for idol talk so I just pointed to the kitchen with out much of a word of greeting.
“Why did you come?” I finally asked once Brittany’d taken of her outerwair and put cookies on the counter. “If you haven’t already noticed am not exactly in the mood for socializing right now.” When she turned away from the counter to face me it sudenly struck me how her yellow shirt fit the line around her that my stupid mind had pictured. Everything had been so dark lately that that faint yellow that Brittany gave away seemed like the only light of hope in the whole room.. I shook my head trying to shake of the thoughts and listen to her words.
“Shari asked me if I could check on you. Shes in a similar state to you, you know., John and her are worried about the baby.” I was annoied that it had to be Brittany out of all people. I didn’t know her well and I wanted to make a good impression on her because she was Shari’s sister. Did it matter now though, when I probably wasn’t going to see Shari again? I only saw her brifly on the two funerals I attended. When I was feeling specially down I felt joy in wishing for the miscarriage to happen. It still hurt that she was having his kid. That asshole. I turned away pretending to walk away so that Brittany wouldn’t see my expression. Or how bad I looked in general with the exessive paleness and eyebags a clear sign of my lack of sleep. Id rather not have too deal with any one this days..
“Always a coward she is. She can’t face me now can she? This whole pain is just an excuse.” Brittany frowned and sent me a disaproving look which I could feel burning holes in my back. I just procceeded to walk away yet she went after me with all her unwanted advice. God as if she just couldn’t leave me the hell all lone. I didn’t want her to go back and report to Shari what a loser I am and how I can’t cope with any thing as a man should. Dad wouldn’t proud be proud at all. How does that matter. His dead anyways so not going to see what a failure of a son I turned out to be.
“You say you love her so much but you didn’t even care enough to check how shes doing. Well I did, and although I don’t know your dynamics that well I know that you grew up twogether with Rebecca. I can say for sure that she and your sister were very close. Just because your her twin doesn’t mean your the only whose in pain.” It did get unpleasant to quickly. Who was she to go to my house and give me lectures on what to think and what not to. It wasn’t her sister and Dad who died. But than she softened a bit.
“Look, I don’t know what happened betwin you two but I think it got to her as well. But maybe it’s better for you both to catch a break. Things will fall in to place, you’ve been friends for so long after all. One quarrel can’t ruin it.” One quarrel? She had no idea what happened. For a moment I considered telling her just to wash off that look of selfconfidence that she had. But I quickly decided against it. I may of been angry at Shari but I wouldn’t be ruining her reputation in the eyes of the sister she’d only just realized existed.
“If you came here to give me life lessons I’d rather you took your cookies and left. You have no idea what its like to lose a twin.”
“Your right I don’t. However I know what it’s like to lose a mom.” I almost told her I lost mine to and that it didn’t impress me but then I turned on my heel at the cracking of her voice. I looked in to her eyes for a sign of a lie but all I saw was pain which she couldn’t hide all that well. For the first time I saw Brittany with out the usual aura of self confidence and suttle ellegance. To me she looked like a little girl lost in the woods. May be it was just that natural instinct to protect a broken woman that every man had (did it even work like that I had no idea) but some how I just couldn’t ignore her any more. I stopped dumbfonded. Trying to focus on what she was bout to say I remembered the talk we had at that bar.
“Wait but you said that…”
“They split up, yes.” she sighed motioning for me to take a sit. And in the well lit living room I sudenly wasn’t the only unusualey pale one.
“You see it wasn’t really like that. It was during the divorce trial but it never got finished because….. Well my mom really loved Dad, even though he was (and is) a scumbag and deserved none of it. And she couldn’t sustain the pressure.” I gasped in shock my mind picturing all the worst scenarioses. Couldn’t be…?
“Yes. My mom hang herself…” Brittany hung her head than continued. “My mom always felt like the only real parent I had. We were very close Ron. I supported her during the years that our dad continously cheated on her. I thought we were going to go through the divorce twogether. I was happy for us that we were finally cutting him off of our lives and we were fineally going to be free… It was three years ago when I graduated.” As I tried to come to terms with the tale I realized some thing wasn’t quiet adding up but before I could say any thing, Brittany noticed my confussion. She nodded.
“Yes I know. I told you that I had just graduated when we first met. It wasn’t the truth. In fact I am 2 years older than you and Shari.” This was slowly getting to be TMI and I got so sucked in I managed to forget about the tragedies that happened to me for a moment.
“You lied. Why?”
“To protect Shari. I saw that she envied me for having a dad. She thought he chose me, just like you. But it wasn’t true. Shari was conceived when he was already married to my mother. I thought itd be better for her to not know that. I think that growing up with out a dad took a huge toll on her. As did growing up with him on me.” This was true and I knew that. Shari’s always had issues with the fact that her family felt incomplete to her. I and Becca had to constantly reasure her. But she was jealous of the fact that we did have a dad. And she told me that she left me in fear of me leaving her. Which did not make much sense to me at that moment. Yet now… And then their was Brittany coming to me with a heart on her sleeve. What was that all bout? Did she try to repay me by trying to play a matchmaker? My mind started to hurt trying to proccess all this new information. If Becca had been there, she would of known what to do. She always knew what to do… But Becca… she was… I shook my head again. The spell I was under started to break and the suffocating pain in my chest came back.
“Why are you telling me all this now?”
“Because I told this to Shari to comfort her. She deserved the truth after all, to know what a scumbag our dad is. It makes you feel better knowing your not alone in this. That other people also lose the ones they love. Thats why she asked me to tell you this.”
“If you got through it all than maybe I can get over Becca…” I rapiddly cut realizing how wrong it sounded. Like a betrayal. I wanted to take those words back. But Brittany didn’t feel like that. The corners of her lips visibly lifted. She seemed both happy and amazed by my sentence.
“Exactly. Look Ron, I believe you can. And I will help you feel like your alive again.” I was suprised by her statement. After all I barely knew her.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked again. “And why for me and not Shari?”
“Shari has John. He loves her dearly and is there to comfort her. She is going to have his baby in a few months. That will help. But you Ron, you have no one. I know what its like to feel like your alone in the world and you’ve just lost the person you love so much. No psychologists can help you. You need to help yourself. And Ron, I’m speaking from experience.” It hurt but I knew she was wright. I no longer was the one Shari turned to for support. She had John, she was going to have his baby. I gulped at the thought. That was not what I wanted to think bout.
“And how am I going to do that?” I fineally asked.
“Hold your horses. Baby steps, ok? First,” she said getting up to grab the plate of cookies that she brought over.
“Your going to grab one of those cold-by-now vegan cookies that I made. The rest, we’ll think of it later.”
Hesitantly I reached over to do what I was told. The cookie, although in fact cold was surprisingly tasty. I never ate vegan food but I liked those. Brittany watched me as I ate with a smile and when I looked at her for the first time in a long time I had hope. I had trust in her that she was going to help me. That it wasn’t the end of the world. That if she could do it, I could do it. I will do it for Becca. I will show her I am strong.
Note: Hey, guys! I hope you enjoyed this one, because I truly loved writing it and having a chance to tell you more about Brittany’s background. I also used a ton of Louise‘s poses and they fit perfectly for the scenes, I think, so thank you again, Louise, you’re the best! ♥ I didn’t know what title to use, but I finally came up with this one, and it’s perfect, because it has a hidden pun, seeing how Ron sees Brittany in yellow as a “ray of sunshine”. And finally, we’re halfway done with generation 6. This one feels super long because of the new schedules and my breaks, but we’re getting there. Of course, we don’t have an heir yet, but no worries, I will work that out.