“How you doing, Frankie?” Waylon is stroking my back as we’re both lying on the bed before the big announcement that is yet to be made. I’m a bundle of nerves while he looks as he could fall asleep any moment.
“I’m terrified,” I say truthfully as I bury my nose in his shirt, seeking for comfort. He tries to stabilize me as I slightly shiver. “I can’t believe it’s already been 11 years… And 22 years for our relationship.” I look at the man whose arm is now protectively wrapped around me and study him closely. I’ve never thought I could love someone so much. And in my wildest dreams would I think that my first boyfriend would be my biggest love. I’m so lucky, aren’t I?
“Me neither,” he agrees. “But I have no regrets,” he adds and I reach out and catch his fingers with mine. A huge grin spreads across Way’s face. My husband’s face. My own smile fades too quickly as the disturbing thoughts start flooding my mind yet again, and I frown.
“I don’t want to see him. I thought maybe 11 years would be enough… But no time could prepare me for this meeting,” I sigh with resignation. Just the mere thought of seeing my father again makes me sick to my stomach. And to think that Clinton would be meeting his too. Somehow, it feels wrong, as if I’d expose to danger letting this man get to him. My father, who also happens to be his biological father.
Waylon frowns and likely bites his tongue so that he doesn’t swear and start a rant about how bad my father is. Instead, he narrows his eyes, keeping my hand close to his chest.
“I can kick him out no problem. Just say the word,” he offers. I just shake my head, moving away from him.
“That won’t be necessary, Way. Besides, Clint has the right to know. I feel so dirty now to have had to lie to him for so long.” It was actually Way’s idea and I’ve never been convinced. I think we should have told him long time ago. If only my dad hadn’t interfered…
“Hey, don’t feel like that. You know we only wanted what’s best for him.”
“Yeah, I do. I’m not sure if the end justifies the means in his eyes. I just hope he doesn’t hate us.”
“Of course he won’t. Come on, Frankie, he loves us. And he adores you. Possibly the best big brother out there. You should be proud.” Waylon continuously showers me with compliments, making an angel out of it. The truth is, I’ve always thought he praises me too much. I am not perfect, and my main flaw is being a disappointment in the eyes of a man who I’ve secretly tried to impress my whole life. To no avail.
“I really am. I just wish for the guilt to go away. I don’t want to feel like a sinner in my father’s eyes.” I didn’t tell Way that I still have those dreams of our family outings to church each Sunday. Peaceful times which could never prepare us for what happened next. Before Hailey and before all this mess. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if my parents were still together, or if my dad accepted me. That is just wishful on my part, though. He will never accept me.
“You are not, Frankie. Trust me, you’re the saint – the best, most hard-working, kind, moral person I know.” It comes to my mind how Hailey called me an angel so many years ago. I then protested that gay angels don’t exist and she said that they must for she knows one and there surely are more.
“That’s not enough, apparently,” I plainly respond.
“Don’t remember what you advice all those people that come to you, seeking for support?” I do have a lot of LGBTQ people viewing me as their role model and someone to come and talk to. It’s connected to the fact that I am often shown in the media, standing up for gay rights and it is commonly known that I’m married to Waylon and we have a son together. Just another room for controversy. As if there was not a single thing that’s not controversial or offensive in the times we live in.
“Look, I know that he’s wrong. But somewhere deep down, I am still this young boy that wants to make his father proud. He’s never tried to understand.” Way doesn’t understand either. Sometimes I forget that he, too, has problems. His life before me seemed like an easy street. He’s never been deprived of family support, or anything. I often think that he will never get to truly appreciate what he’s been given, just because he doesn’t know any different.
“And he won’t understand. You should give up trying to impress him, Frankie. I thought you were long over this phase.” And here we go again…
I will never be over this phase, I think, but then we hear someone ring the doorbell. Waylon clenches my hand and smiles encouragingly. “I’ll be there.” I gulp and nod, then follow him downstairs.
“Thank you all for coming. Dearest husband.”
I nod to Waylon.
“And finally – father.” Clinton looks shocked, staring at the blue-eyed (same shade of blue as his own eyes) man he sees for the first time in his life. But before he’s able to comment on that, Waylon chimes, taking the words right out of my mouth.
“Sorry for interrupting, but where is Rebecca?” Hailey looks at him sadly, adjusting the shawl she has been wearing ever since the surgery to cover up her throat. It’s Ron that speaks up.
“We… don’t really know. Reported her disappearance to the police, but nothing new yet.”
“I had no idea,” I say, looking at my friend, genuinely shocked. She has such a heavy burden to carry, now also with the disappearance of her daughter. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for her. “But that is not the subject we have to discuss today. Without further ado… Clinton, please meet your father.” As I speak the words, our father stands up and extends his hand to greet his youngest child. Clint looks as if he didn’t have the slightest idea how to act. Then he fixes his gaze on me. Of course. Looks like I am the bad guy now.
“We’re brothers? And you didn’t tell me?” Then, seeing Cedric’s hand hovering in the air in front of him, he shakes it. “It’s, uh, a pleasure.”
“I couldn’t wait to finally meet you. Now, if it wasn’t for Frank…”
“Enough, Dad. Look, Clint, I have no idea how you’ll take to this news, but we also know the identity of your mother. She’s in fact in this room. Hailey…” Hannah is just about to get up from her seat, but Clinton has already scanned the room and found the only woman by the time I said her name. He doesn’t look as shocked as he is miserable. I swear if I didn’t know better, I’d think he’s just learned that he is about to die. And then he’s gone, running upstairs, skipping several steps at a time.
All the adults in the room seem to want to get up and run for Clint, but then Ron stops as all.
“Don’t,” he says, holding his hand in the stop sign in front of us. “It’s just… I think I know what to tell him. I’ll go.” And before anyone can protest, he’s already began climbing up the stairs. I hardly stop my father from following him.
“It’s still a shock. Let it sink in that you’re his father. He and Ron have been really good friends, I think it’s good if he goes to talk to him instead.”
“It’s your fault,” he growls. “If you didn’t try to keep his existence from me, then…” Hailey sends him a look and he suddenly stops as if under a spell. Maybe there was more to their relationship than I initially thought?
I can’t believe it. All my hopes came crushing down all at once, hearing the name of the woman who used to be just a close friend to my family. But she’s been much more all along. She is my mother. I really tried not to question my family dynamic too much. I love my dads, even if I might have been exposed to more dad jokes than any other kid around. I like to think I had a perfectly normal and loving childhood. I’m happy to admit that being friends with Fast Track Reggie’s kids prevented any kid from trying to bully me, as well. I had such a good life with everything provided for me. But the thing I wanted the most I’ve just learned will always be out of my reach…
Hearing someone knock on my door, I say, “Go away, Dad F. I’m not in the mood.” Then I mentally scold myself for calling my apparently half-brother dad.
“Hey, Clint, it’s Ron. I just wanted to talk.” I sigh in protest, but get up anyway and open the door.
“I was just wondering how to kill myself,” I tell my friend.
“Not you too.” Seeing the look on my face, he explains,” You see, dad’s not been good since the accident.
“…and Clint? It’s Becca, right?”
“I can’t believe it, bro (oh, wow, now it makes sense). To be chasing after her for years and learn that she could never be mine. It fucking hurts.” I confess, taking a seat and fiddling with my fingers.
“I know. But at least she wasn’t interested and you didn’t get romantically involved after all.”
Seeing my gaze shift away from him, he asks, “What? CLINT?”
“Well, I-I slept with her.” By looking at Ron, I finally find out what the expression his jaw dropped means.
“You slept with my sister? How? When?”
“Don’t act all surprised. It’s not like you didn’t sleep with Shari.”
“How do you… Ah, Becca. She always knows everything, doesn’t she?” I swallow, then begin recounting the events.
“It was a game of spin the bottle. You and Shari attended your dad’s racing or whatever. Becca was supposed to study for some competition, but you know how it is with her. We ended up crushing at someone’s house and she took up the challenge. I didn’t think she would do it. I think she kind of felt sorry for me and the fact that she would never like me the way I liked her.”
“Wow. She really made herself that cheap?”
“Cheaper than you think. She hit on so many guys when you were busy hanging out with Shari – seriously, guys, it was hard not to notice you two were an item. But yeah… Sleeping with her or her obviously fucking around didn’t turn me off as she probably thought it would. Quite the opposite, actually. I kept thinking how I’d be better for her than any of them. You know, the usual thing, protect her, wake up to her, kiss every inch of her beautiful body…” Seeing the expression on my best friend’s face, I figure I must have gone overboard. Aw, fuck.
“God, bro, she’s our sister!”
“I KNOW! I-I can’t help it. It’s just…”
“I kinda… sorta… understand. You didn’t know. But you really, really need to get over her. Not only is she not into you, she’s totally off-limits.”
“Where is she, though? How come no one can find out?”
“I don’t know, I told you. But you know what? Let’s go and find her. Together as bros. Real bros. You two need to talk it over.”
“I’m in. But Ron… Do you think she possibly found out long ago?”
“Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s Becca. She’s an expert at sticking her nose into things that are none of her business.” I nod, looking sadly at the wall opposite him.
“Why so sad? There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Besides, you know I’ll always love you.”
“No homo, bro,” then I burst out laughing all despite myself at my favorite joke with Ron. You’ve no idea how hilarious it gets when you grew up around LGBTQ people.
“That’s the Clint I know!” Says Ron happily. “It’ll be good, you’ll see. I mean, at least you’re not homo. It’s hard not to be attracted to me.” He earns another laugh from me with that.
“Bros for real?” I ask, smiling to my best friend.
“Bros for real,” he repeats. “Now are you ready to face your old man?”
“Sure thing… Hey, do you think our mom likes older men only?”
“Yeah, possibly. Okay, let’s make a bet. Older or younger than my dad?” We spend the rest of our way downstairs discussing my real father’s possible age. I don’t know what I’d do without Ron.
Note: Okay, confession – I kind of started shipping Clint and Ron, which is so wrong, because they’re literally brothers and straight. A perfect example of literal bromance, though. I will explore their relationship more at the beginning of Ron’s gen. I think it’s now perfectly clear what will be the main theme for the first chapters of generation 6. I’m so excited to finally not be ignoring Clint, too!
As you see, there is this topic I haven’t touched on much in the past – Frank and Catholicism. I may not have stated it before, but yes, Cedric is Catholic and Frank grew up in faith, which was just another issue for him to face as he dealt with low self-esteem and trying to figure out who he is and what he wants out of life. He eventually gave up faith, but the guilt has persisted for many years.
And ah, yes, another shocking revelation! So, incest. I am in fact really excited to share this story with you, guys, because it was all set up before Becca and Ron were ever born. Although, not like my past story, this time it’s only on Clint’s side. Becca is not at all interested. More on that later, probably.
Since all the characters grew up a bit, they also went over some makeovers. It was quite shocking to me how older Waylon looked when I replaced his significant glasses. And I used the age slider and I think it’s done a pretty good job. Although Frank with wrinkles does look somewhat creepy depending on the light. Hailey pretty much switched back to her old style and she totally does look like a Barbie doll in pink. Maybe it’s because of Cedric that she dressed up like that? Also, this bonus takes place some time after the last chapter and Hailey is after a surgery now. You will read more of it in the epilogue.
And yeah, more on my poses project. I’ve not been making any progress recently, as I’m so fed up with trying to make them perfect, but at least I can use them for my own stuff, so that’s good. It’s hard to find a good amount of great bed talk poses.
And that’s it – are you shocked? More or less shocked compared to how you were when Hailey and Cedric got together? Please share your thoughts. I will see you on Sunday for the grand ending of generation 5. Take care!