Warning: One swear word.
Note: To avoid any confusion – last chapter took place in March, this one in the end of June, so same time as the last Frank bonus. Hailey’s 7 months pregnant in this chapter, she was 4 months pregnant in the last one. Now enjoy!
My grandma’s death has really made me think. My mind is currently being flooded with never before asked questions and issues which have never been brought to my attention up until this moment. I am miserable, but this is not grief anymore, it’s just that kind of fright that clenches my throat and makes it feel like I’m suffocating. It’s the fright of not rising to the challenge that motherhood is. After some further consideration, I decide to call the most responsible parent (or older brother) I know. I anxiously wait for Frank to pick up. A few moments later he finally does.
“Hi, Hannah,” he says a bit absently, which doesn’t escape my attention, but I decide not to raise this subject just yet, too focused on my own troubles.
“Frank, I need to ask you something,” I say, biting my lip. He sighs as if he wasn’t in the mood to deal with me, but, being the good friend he is, offers his ears to listen anyway.
“Go ahead, then.”
“Frank, um, do you think I’m a bad mother?” I let the question escape my mouth, regretting voicing it right away. Frank hesitates for a moment, then comes up with a response.
“Honestly?” He doesn’t wait for my answer. “I don’t think a decent mother would let go of her child with such ease as you did. Looking at it from my point of view, though, I’m glad you did.” The voice of reason, as always. Dammit, Frank, why do you have to be so reasonable, and why can’t I ever be? Then I, at last, start paying to attention to how Frank’s voice sounds. It’s not the usual cheery Frank I know, or rather I’ve learned to expect ever since he got together with Waylon, he in fact sounds like he’s holding back tears and I feel like I can’t ignore it anymore.
“Is anything bothering you?” I ask gently instead of responding to his advice. He lets out another resigned sigh.
“Why yes, it does, Hannah. You see, Waylon had just shut the door in front of my nose when you called. Just because I didn’t agree to go to that pride parade in Bridgeport with him.” Oh, so that’s why. I get even sadder when I hear about my best friend’s relationship troubles. Why isn’t anything working out relationship-wise for us these days?
“I don’t get it. What’s stopping you?”
“It’s complicated, Hannah. But essentially, I don’t think we have anyone to leave Clint with.” Then the idea strikes me. What if…?
“Do you think you could leave him with me? I mean, just to, I guess, get used to the idea of caring for a child…” My heart is beating in my chest as I pose a question too fast to properly think it over, because then I know I wouldn’t be able to ask it at all.
“I don’t know, Hannah. Are you sure? You’ve never expressed an interest in Clint in those three years since you gave birth to him,” he remarks.
“Please, Frank. I promise I’ll try my best. It really means a lot to me.” It’s apparent that he isn’t convinced, but hearing my tone, he’s having it hard to refuse. He’s always been like this.
“Well, if you say so…”
I feel a bit shocked right after Frank sticks Clinton into my arms hastily.
“No word to Way that I gave him to you, got it?” He quickly says.
“When did you turn into a liar? I don’t recognize you, Frank.” A shadow of a smile crosses his mouth.
“Ever since we faked that birth certificate… Or maybe you realize nothing can ever be truly right the more you study law?” Seconds later his expression is serious again. “Enough of kidding, Hannah. I had to lie to my husband for you to get that child to take care of. There’s no way he would have agreed. He doesn’t trust you at all, Hannah, and calls you an irresponsible brat who can’t take good care of herself, let alone for a child, and he also thinks you’re continuously taking advantage of me being too lenient. His words, not mine.”
“I had no idea…”
“I don’t really have the time to talk, sorry. We’ll be in touch. I’ll text you once I get there. Just don’t kill my brother, okay?” Words escape his mouth with the speed of the light. My poor, nervous friend who can’t really lie is back at it again.
“I won’t. Have fun, Frank.”
“Bye.” I look at Clint in my arms, anxiety taking over me. Now what do I do?
A while later I’ve fed Clint, played with him and laid him to rest in the already fully organized nursery, which I’ve gotten done thanks to the amount of self-doubts that started taking over me fairly recently. After I’m sure I can get a break, I go in search of Reggie. It is not hard to find him as he spends half of his time outside, and when he is at home at last, he heads right to his pride – that is his large garage.
When I walk in, he’s tending to one of his favorite cars. Do you remember me wondering whether he would want to have sex with me if I was a fancy sports car? It wasn’t really that far off a guess.
“Where are you going, Reggie?”
“Going to buy some party supplies.” I frown.
“Shit. I’ve forgotten to tell you, haven’t I? There’s a party at 4 in our house. I thought it would be nice to spend some fun time with my friends.”
“Are you kidding me, Reggie? I did not agree to take care of Clint for you to arrange a party. You don’t even spend time with me anymore. Now tell me, if you had to choose – me or racing, what would you pick?” I look expectantly at him, but he turns around and starts getting into the car.
“I hope I will never have to make such a choice,” he says. “Later, Hailey,” and with that he starts the car and gets off the garage.
When the party starts, I decide to lock myself away in a nursery, taking no chances of getting into the company of Reggie’s friends and forgetting about Clint altogether.
I observe the sleeping boy, quietly sitting on the chair in front of the crib, more and more thoughts clogging up my head.
I eventually realize some things:
- I will never be able to feel maternal instinct for Clinton. He has never felt and will never feel like truly my child.
- I was even more of an irresponsible brat when I gave birth to Clinton than I am now.
- I’m nothing short of a stranger to Clinton and he’s never going to recognize me as his mother.
- I’ve only just become aware of the shitty impression I’d made on Waylon while we were still living together and there’s no way he’s ever going to think of me as more than just this careless chick who’s only been causing trouble to his husband.
- I love Reggie and I love these kids in my uterus. No matter what, I’m going to do my best to be a good mother to them, as I’ve lost my chance with Clinton completely.
- My presence in Clinton’s life would just be confusing. I will not be trying to interfere with Frank and Waylon’s methods of raising him.
Becoming aware of these things makes me feel much more relaxed. I begin leaning against the chair, when I suddenly hear someone knocking on the door. I somehow managed to forget about the party going on behind closed door, but now I start wondering who might be trying to get in. I get up to open it, forgetting all about not getting mixed with Reggie’s guests when I am supposed to be taking care of Clinton.
The door opens on a visibly pregnant girl who looks like she could well be my age. It doesn’t escape my attention that she is also really beautiful.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to interrupt, but… Do you think we could talk?” I eye the girl, but decide she piqued my interest.
“Yes, sure. But lock the door first, okay? I can’t risk letting anyone else here.” After doing what I told, the girl looks around the room, as if looking for something.
“This used to be April’s room,” she says with sadness. “I always thought it was too large for a single teenager.”
“And your name is…?”
“Oh, sorry, my bad. I’m Candace, but everyone calls me Candy anyway. My parents took me to the party to show everyone my mistake,” she looks suggestively at her belly. “You see, my mom and Amanda were besties. Just like me and April until… well, you know.” I have no idea why this girl, Candy, suddenly lets me in on all the details in her life.
“So… Candy…. you wanted to talk to me because we’re both pregnant or…?”
“I guess I just wanted someone to talk to. There’s not anyone my age here, except for you.” It’s at this moment that she eventually notices Clinton.
“Is he yours? Such a cute boy!”
“Shh, he’s sleeping. And no, he’s not mine. Not anymore, anyway. My friends are taking care of him. They can’t have a child of their own.”
“Oh. I would give mine away for someone who had infertility problems, too, if only I didn’t love her so much!” I smile at the thought of how clueless she is.
“No, no, it’s not infertility. They’re husbands.”
“They can make a family now, so cool. It must have cost you a lot to give him away. As I’ve mentioned, I can’t imagine giving my little princess to anyone. No matter what my parents say, she’ll never be a mistake to me.” I glance at the sleeping Clinton, guilt taking over me.
“It wasn’t like that. I gave him away, because I didn’t want him,” I confess.
“It’s okay, you know. Not everyone is born with maternal instinct. For some women, I guess, it comes with time,” she smiles to my belly.
“I will do what it takes for my twins to have a loving mom.” Candy smiles again and we continue our talk for long as the party goes on.
“Bridgeport pride parade riots. Five people were hurt during today’s parade closing the LGBTQ Pride Month by a knife-wielding man. Victims were taken to the hospital, three of them with severe bruises. The attacker is currently being questioned by the police.” I feel blood rushing through my veins and sweat covering my body… was this water?
Reggie turns to look at me and mutes the TV. “Hailey, is everything okay? You’re very pale.” I stare at the television screen, absently looking at the pictures from the parade, trying to spot Frank on them. Please tell me he is okay.
“No, it’s not! Reggie… I think my water broke.” I look at the puddle beneath me.
“Are you sure it’s not urine? You’re only 7 months in, it’d be dangerous to go into labor now…” Suddenly, I grimace in pain as I feel a strong contraction.
“Ohmygod, I’m taking you to the hospital!”
I am still distraught when I am presented to my babies, Rebecca Calloway and fifteen minutes younger Ronald Rosenthal. I should be thankful that the doctors managed to save the premature twins, as chances were one or neither of them would make it, yet all I can think about at the moment is Frank’s safety. Ever since the C-section, I’ve been calling him every few seconds. To no avail. It is sinking in that if not for my generous offer, he probably wouldn’t have gone to that bloody parade. Waylon is right – all I’ve ever done is causing him trouble. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to him. It appears I’m not only a horrible mother, but also a horrible friend.
I’m a failure on all fronts.
Note: Hiya, guys. Oh yeah, the parade fiasco. Uh, I’m not hurting Frank… or maybe just a lil’ bit? Okay, this is getting awkward, so…
Have you noticed any difference in the visuals? Well, I have, but I knew that there was supposed to be one. I now have actual teeth in my game (they tend to get creepy at times, though) and of course the HQ mod. I personally think Hailey looks more like a digital painting than a Sim now. This mouth is so soft and pretty I fell in love with it right away. Yeah, this chapter is also one of the rare occasions in which Hailey doesn’t go around with full make-up. She does have none here in fact (except eyelashes and a nosemask, but that’s a standard). How do you, guys, like Candy? I made her on the spot, as quickly as I came up with the idea for this new character, but I think she’s pretty. Aand… I bet you have no idea who the heir will be. Okay, this stopped getting exciting right after gen 2, then it just started being ultra obvious with favorizing Gemma, and then single kids two generations in a row. But hey, I made this even more obvious now. Thank me and my crazy idea of twins with different surnames.
Anyhoo, hope you enjoy it. If I don’t get killed due to excessive posting before (seriously, guys, because of my trip to Russia I have time until Wednesday to finish three posts), expect a Frank bonus on Wednesday! ♥