Chapters

Epilogue

Warning: Swearing.

It has been a year ever since Cedric tricked me by the lake on the swamps near my home. Now I feel like my time is coming to its end at the still rather young age of forty years. I have been given a life sentence. It means that now, when I’m standing by the fireplace in this ugly house of mine, it is the last time I’m standing in this ugly house of mine.

1.jpg

You know, it is good to see the advantages of every situation, but the thing is that in a situation that I’m currently in there are none. Of course I carefully considered all the options, weighed the pros and cons of trying to escape. But unfortunately it is not that easy to just run away – definitely not like in movies, because I’m under careful scrutiny and they are soon going to force me to say goodbye to my house and everyone.

2.jpg

I have sorted through my diary and finally realized what Heather meant by the warning. She said some very foreboding words to me once which I completely underestimated. “You will learn that something buried six feet under the ground can come out in the moment of your life when you least expect it to”, she said and then added. “And sometimes there’s just no point in digging for it, because you will find out that it brings more bad than good.” I freaked out a bit and read these words over and over again so many times that my head was beginning to hurt.

Did she know what was going to happen?

3.jpg

No, obviously not, I assured myself. She knew that she would be forced to fake her own death and she tried to warn me that such was likely to happen. But, even though I tried to comfort myself, I still felt terrified as fuck. Not only was I going to spend the rest of my days in the prison, I was also now experiencing this sort of the curse my mother was talking about. No, this is rubbish. Curses don’t exist, right? Who would believe in something like that? Not the same old realist me. But what if they existed and I was experiencing it? I fucking didn’t escape it. If only this stupid daughter of mine had never showed up in my house, I would still be safe and sound in China now. And I would still not have the faintest idea of Heather being alive (not anymore, though). Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why did I even let her drag me to Twinbrook? I have never been more screwed.

4.jpg

I do regret coming back to Twinbrook, but I do not regret having committed murder. I still think that I served up justice for Heather and in that I am proud of myself. I tried to tell that in the court, but they told me I was psychotic and sent me to a psychiatrist. When, I think, for the first in my life I told there the absolute truth of how I felt, hoping it would help me extenuate the punishment, I was diagnosed with APD. Also known as sociopathy.  Whatever. It wasn’t that I cared what it was called, I only wanted to know whether it would help me avoid the life imprisonment. I was told that no, because my disorder didn’t contribute to the murder being classified as “manslaughter due to diminished responsibility”. The act of killing Heather was voluntary and they had proof; also, how ironically, in that they confiscated my diary. Seems that it may not have been the best idea to pour out my soul in the writing. Oh well, it’s not like I have anything to lose now. I have a copy on my computer, so at least there is that.

5.jpg

It did not help that I had already had the criminal record from some other crimes from the time I was a member of a crime organization. I did not betray the other gang members. I was so not going to let Cedric have even more satisfaction and recognition. And I feared they would kill me. Even though I know I am going to spend so much time in the prison, I am still terrified of death.

6.jpg

As I stand there, I stare at the flames yet again, 22 years later. Has my life change since that time? Definitely, because when I was 18, I was free to do everything I wanted. I was also a smoker and now I’m not. Not that it changes a thing as far as my punishment is considered. Have I changed? Not so much, I think. As I said in the beginning, I was not going to change, because I didn’t feel like I needed to fix anything in myself. I still don’t. I think that I did everything right, it’s just that the world seems to have a different sense of justice than I do. And it annoys me because if their minds worked like mine, they would understand that Heather needed to die. It was she who was in the wrong all these years, not me. It’s true, I can assure anyone that it is and I did so, but it did not help. It’s not my fault that they are too feeble-minded to understand the depth of my precepts. They will never have such great minds to understand what the world really is. And if they want toleration from me, then they will have their fucking toleration, but if and only if they tolerate my first. If not, then they can go and kiss my ass. I don’t feel a tiny bit less misunderstood than I felt when I began my diary. People should reevaluate their ways of thinking and not me!

7.jpg

I would speak my mind even more, but I’ve come to realize that people do not listen, no matter how many times I try to make them realize things. They think I’m a psycho and they are either afraid and tell me I’d heard too many of dictators’ speeches or laugh it off and tell me I should’ve been locked up in a madhouse rather than a prison. Such painful ignorance. And you know what? If there was one thing, I’d want to never do it again if I had the chance to play things out the other way, I would say that I wouldn’t get caught again. I would just throw Heather in those flames and would not care enough to even approach the lake. So that’s it. I would never get caught again. I would never do it again.

Note: *Throws confetti* I can say with a big dose of relief that it is the end of generation 4 and that, hopefully, I will not be doing Sam’s narrative ever again. Since this is the big moment I say goodbye to him, I have some reflections I want to share with you guys.

Writing Sam was excruciating (lol, ’cause it’s one of his favorite words, as you know) and it wore me down toward the end, and maybe especially at the end to his adventures. And although he was awful, shocking and totally different to what I’d had before him, you guys persisted and were there for me, not giving up the story in times when I was so desperate with the traits that EA threw at me, determined not to change them, I wanted to scrap the whole thing and put a big end to Sam. I am the opposite gender, I am a compassionate person, I am heterosexual, I struggle with self-consciousness, I am not a sporty person, I struggle with Math, as opposed to Sam’s logic and manipulation, I never swear – these are just some of the things that I needed to overcome when writing his narrative. Of course I and Sam have completely different views on the world and how it works, which is good for me since we all know Sam is not a sane person.

As to what I have in store for the next generation, I’ve planned, I’ve planned a lot, I hope to work more in putting the plans to action in the next few days, and what more can I say? I want to say a big thank you to all of you who have experienced this generation with me and to those of you who may be still new to my story and have experienced it on their own pace just recently. I hope to see you around during generation 5. Please leave me a comment below on how you enjoyed generation 4 and share your thoughts, it would be greatly appreciated. As a side note, I answered a question about scrapped plots for Sam for the award, so something similar to what Louise has just done, so you can check it out here if you are interested. Here is a complete summary of his generation if you need a refreshment. Have a great Saturday and see you in a week for the grand prologue to generation 5! ♥

Note 2: For some reason WordPress hates me and my comments get trashed so if you see I liked your post and I didn’t comment anything, please check your spam, because I never not leave comments.

47 thoughts on “Epilogue”

  1. Whew….I get it when you Sam wore you out. He wore me out and I didn’t have to write it! I think you did an awesome job even at the end he wasn’t apologizing for killing Heather. Congratulations on tackling a tough character to write! I can’t believe I’m not last! 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t believe you’re not last either. In fact you’re here super early. I was just putting final touches on the summary to his gen, haha.
      He did! He tired me out so much and when I started his generation, I couldn’t even stop thinking about him. Now I’m focused on figuring out Hailey.
      Thank you so much for the compliment. Well, EA threw at me so many horrible traits to tackle, it was so hard at the beginning. Now Hailey is too boring for me with her traits if I were to be honest. But oh well, EA’s not going to stop me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for believing in me. Well, she’s already had her fair share of drama and her generation has not even begun yet. If I were to tell more about her, I’m pretty sure I made her a polar opposite of Gemma.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow… I get why Sam was excruciating to write, I really do. But from a reader standpoint, I gotta say: I loooved hating this guy! He was such a different protagonist that I always found myself wondering what he’ll do next to screw everything up – and find an excuse about it, of course!
    So Sam only felt sorry for being caught… part of me honestly hoped he’d feel sorry for everything but… who was I kidding? Sam will never feel sorry for any pain he caused, except for the pain he himself is feeling!
    This was a great generation! I have no idea what I would do with him if I were you, but you handled it perfectly! 😀
    (And I can’t wait to read about Hailey and her story!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my, and here the curse has been passed on. I just found your comment in my spam! I think I need to turn off Akismet, then, for it takes innocent people as spammers.
      Well, Sam was excruciating to write, he really was. I always felt sorry for writing him and I wanted to apologize for each time he hurt someone, really.
      But…I’m so glad you found his generation enjoyable! It definitely was interesting albeit excruciating, as I said. Yes, screwing up is the one thing that he does the best, lol.
      Yes, honestly, I would screw up the whole thing if he was sorry now.
      Thank you so much. Well, I somehow had to figure out and this was my solution.
      Ah, Hailey, she definitely isn’t a bad person, as opposed to her dad! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Okay, first I want to say how like Sam it is that he is talking about his crummy house instead of his daughter. He’s leaving her, too. But that is Sam

    Next, I got a real thrill as he remembered what Heather once told him about six feet under… excellent job with that!

    And way to go, Sam, blaming your daughter for your circumstances. Sheesh.

    “… it’s just that the world seems to have a different sense of justice than I do…” And that sentence there pretty much sums everything up about Sam.

    I loved how you stretched yourself this generation. You did such a good job. Now, onto Generation 5! Woot! I can’t wait!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Totally like Sam! He didn’t think about Hailey even for a moment. And he’s never been present in her life.
      Really? Well, yes, I knew how it was going to end at that moment in the story and it was one of my clues to the eventual disaster. I’m so glad you liked this!
      Because we all know it was toootally Hailey’s fault…
      Of course, he has a sick viewpoint.
      Thank you so very much ❤ I can't wait either. It's weird mine will be earlier than yours this time.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Sam was a very challenging character to write (and read lol sometimes I just wanted to shake some sense into him!). I think challenging yourself like that is a valuable learning experience for a writer, well done 🙂 Can’t wait to see what the next generation has in store!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow, Sam was remorseless till the very end… Not that I expected any different XD Good riddance! Haha, wow. I totally get where you are coming from with the difficulty in writing his narrative, his point of view was a complete departure from the previous gen’s characters. It was super interesting to read though since you couldn’t really expect what he’d do sometimes. He totally deserves that life sentence and I doubt anyone will ever come to visit him unless it’s out of spite or something. (Lol at the fact they confiscated his notebook, since there’s even more evidence of his past criminal life in there…)
    I remember at the start I had hope he’d maybe wake up one day considering how decent his parents were, but this boy was just too far gone since he was a kid, and I like that he remained that way consistently until the end.
    Poor Heather and Hailey… I didn’t think about it, but when he mentioned he would’ve remained in China had Hailey not come and dragged him back, I wonder how his life would’ve ended up…
    I’m excited to see Hailey’s gen now! Hopefully she is less sociopathic than her father was XD

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, he was. He is so stubborn in his ways.
      I’m glad everyone knows what I’m talking about. It’s one of the pros of this community, basically everyone here is a writer, too, and understands writer’s struggles. I know, so much evidence. Cedric was well-prepared and definitely determined to put him in jail for life.
      No, he was just too bad, and I think it’s good, we too often see characters who magically change, and such drastic changes in personality rarely happen in real life. Well, at the very least he’s not a smoker and drinker anymore XD
      Oh yes, Heather, bless her soul. I hope she is in a better place now. Yes, it’s really interesting, though I doubt he’d ever settle down anyway.
      I am excited, too. In fact I spend my whole weekends preparing many things! Hailey has a good heart, she was raised by Dellie after all. And she definitely has matured since the last time we saw her.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. It really must be such a relief to be able to get Sam’s voice out of your head. 🙂 I agree with Sempreviva that he’s a character I loved to hate! I loved the way you captured how people with narcissism and antisocial personality disorder think — they’re always right, everyone else is wrong, everything they do is justified in their own minds, even things we all know are always wrong (like murder, Sam, OMG you murdered your own daughter’s mother in cold blood, no you were not delivering “justice!”) But there’s no reasoning with people like Sam.

    On to the next generation! It’ll be great to finally get to know Hailey. That poor kid, what a screwed up situation she was born into! At least she had sweet Dellie there for her childhood. ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It definitely is a huge relief! Thank you. In some weird way I really like Sam, but at the same time he is very tiring to me and I felt so wrong throughout his entire generation.
      Of course, Sam’s voice in my head always told me exactly what I pictured here. I was horrified having to write about being content with killing someone but to Sam it was absolutely right, and I was able to see it from his perspective. Well, it was an interesting journey to say the least. The reason for Sam to hate Heather this much is because she managed to hurt his pride the most out of all people in his life. And his ego is so big he was convinced that the only justice for her was to die like she was ‘supposed to’. And of course there is no reasoning with him.
      We know quite a lot about Hailey already, but of course there are bits that we’d never know if it wasn’t for first person. I’ve already written her prologue and chapter 1 and it definitely wasn’t that much of a challenge as Sam was. She’s quite a fun character albeit too much of an extrovert (and OMG, the clothes she wears) to me to feel fully comfortable with her. Definitely a screwed up situation with her. I hope she gets off the tiger’s back and figure her life out. There’s so much ahead of her, she’s only 18 🙂 Yeah, Dellie is the sweetest ♥

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh wow, it’s the ending! I’m 99.9% happy because Sam was such a horrible, horrible person, but 0.01% sad as he was very unpredictable and interesting to read about. But I get why you would be tired of writing such a character, and I very much look forward to the next generation.
    I’m really glad Sam was sentenced to life in prison. It was really no surprise in how utterly remorseless and believing in his own correctness he was till the very last word of the epilogue.
    Speaking of epilogue, what a great one! Now here we go with Hailey 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it is. It’s really hard to believe I will be starting with gen 5 next week, I am still so shocked. On one hand, I am relieved, on the other, it’s always tough to switch to another character. And up to now, I’ve only written about Hailey in third person.
      I am glad, too. He deserved that. And he acted just like he always does, no surprise there.
      Thank you so much! Yay, Hailey!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Sam really deserved everything that the universe good throw at him. I understand how hard he was to write – I have a hard time with Vittoria and she’s not nearly as bad as he is, all things considered. There was just no helping Sam – in the end, he got what was coming to him, and there’s a certain pleasure in the fact that he was brought down by his own stupidity.
    It’s been a very different journey from most others I’ve read in the Sims community and now I’m looking forward to learning more about Hailey 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sam definitely got it coming. And Vittoria is a bad character, but as we once talked about, you and I interpreted the evil trait differently. Vittoria is not sane either, but she’s better than Sam. Exactly my words! I loved how it all came down to his pride.
      Thank you so much and I’m glad you enjoyed this journey. Hailey is definitely a more conventional character than he was. 🙂
      And oh, I’m pretty sure my last comment on CoM extras ended up in your spam.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, we took very different routes with the evil trait 🙂 for me, I’ve never seen her as a sociopath – just someone who was raised in an extremely bad environment. In that way, Sam was almost the opposite – he was raised in a decent environment – not perfect with his mother’s weirdness, but certainly he wasn’t physically abused and used by everyone.
        It was really the only way he could go – the other characters were just unfortunate. Sam didn’t need a curse to mess him up. He did fine being a dumbass all on his own.
        I’m looking forward to it – I already think she’s pretty interesting 😀

        Thank you for telling! I found your comment! Good thing, too.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I can see why Sam was a challenge to write for, but as I have said thoughout the entire generation, you have done an amazing job with him. You took the traits that were in game given, you ran with them, and created one of the most fasinating and enjoyable characters to read!!
    During every other epilogue the heir has reflected on their life and how they have changed. But not Sam. He is utterly remorseless to the very end.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much again! You have always been so kind and so understanding of what I needed to do to bring Sam’s character to life. I and him are practically polar opposites.
      It’s probably because Sam didn’t change at all. Yes, he got older, but it’s all.
      Oh, and BTW your One Moore Legacy thought I was a spammer too and couldn’t even thank you for the nomination without it landing in your spam :/

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You might bring my comment back if you want, just go to your site address with added /wp-admin, then it will tell you about something being in your spam, you say it’s not spam and then approve it. That’s how I had to do it because Sempreviva’s comment landed in my spam, too.
        And I’ve been super absorbed with preparing my game for generation 5, but I will add your questions to my post tomorrow 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  10. “The last will be the first”. I have finally lived to see Sam’s ending. I didn’t think it is possible to read his Epilogue. 4th generation’s ending was so distant in January, now we know everything about his life. Who would thought that Sam would play God and suffocate Heather. He has made a few bad decisions recently. Return to Twinbrook was stupid idea. I know that Hailey forced him but since when does Sam listen to anyone? Anyway, the most shocking moment was his murder. I still think he should listen what Heather had to say and then kick her out the door. Well, fate have to complete and Sam have to go to the jail. Consequences weigh heavily on all of us. I’m writing this before I forget because I want to comment something else. Sam’s appearance has changed a lot, this process completely finishes him. I’m glad I had an occasion to read about such character like Sam. He is unparalleled, uniqe and it’s good you created someone like him. It’s good for you because you had an original idea. I think that hardly anyone would take on this kind of task. I’m aware of the difficulties of that task but you made it. I’m probably the only one who understand some of Sam’s decisions but he acts like that because he is a sociopath. He isn’t black in 100%. Like he said, he has his own sense of justice and this justify his actions a little bit. For example, not his murder. He can think he couldn’t be caught. So what? Police officers would have solved a mystery anyway. Sam wasn’t wearing gloves when he suffocated Heather. The truth would come out sooner or later. Sorry Sam but sup your bitter drink and try to survive in prison. Your leader abilities will be useful in jail as never before. By the way I can’t wait to meet Hannah closer. Her adulthood is surely very interesting

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, it seems that it is indeed possible and we haved lived long enough to see Sam’s ending. Good for us!
      He has definitely made some very bad decisions. And…I am very glad you enjoyed reading about Sam, and you brought up some very good points. Truth would have probably come out anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Wow, gen 5 is about to start! I’m so impressed with you always getting your chapters out every week, and you did a great job with Sam’s story.

    It’s funny that Sam was even trying to convince the court to see his kind of justice. He really thinks he did the right thing.

    I think it must be hard to write about any character that you don’t relate to, and Sam was on another level! I hope that didn’t take too much out of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it is. Really? Somehow I keep up with it, I rarely come to extremes when I work on the chapter on Friday night. I can’t break my schedule now, it means too much to me, because I’ve been doing it for so long.
      Thank you so much! I know, in his head it was the only right thing. And you know it, Sam just wouldn’t let go and admit to making a mistake.
      Sam is on another level of being unrelatable, really. No, I hope not, I can still write, so that is good, I guess? But Hailey sounds boring to me now, too lackluster traits.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. It’s done and overcome with. Finally.
    In my imagination there’s a picture:
    You personally, closing the door to Sam’s jail cell and throwing away the key.
    Then I see you walk away, happily whistling. 😉
    Many times you told us about your struggle that you had to fight with his personality. Like the devil’s advocate.
    You have accomplished a great feat to accompany such a difficult character without a single white hair, through his disastrous life without any love.
    I even think, Sam just pretended to love at least himself.
    But he would never confess.
    I noticed a picture in Chapter 4.22 – it’s approximately at the same height as the title image of Maddie. They take almost the same attitude.
    Hard to believe, that could be a coincidence.

    I also looked at the new pictures you made, when it all started.
    The fresher colors and the newly developed sharpness of the pictures take nothing from the tragedy and cruelty of events.
    It still shudders me most of all.
    Looking forward to Hailey Nathifa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, finally.
      That’s a good scene, a visual representation of me getting done with Sam. I can’t say I wasn’t happy to say goodbye.
      Thank you so much.
      And yes, it’s very likely Sam didn’t love even himself.
      What picture are you talking about? I don’t think I’ve done something deliberately similar to Maddie.
      Ah, the new pictures definitely look very happy, as opposed to what happened here.
      Hope you like her.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. They always say it’s good to challenge yourself when writing something new. To explore new characters and grow as a writer. What they don’t tell you, is how in doing so, it changes the writer too. I went down the rabbit hole so far with Jin, I started to act and think like him a bit. It was exhausting, just as you said. I dreamt my story and carried around a book to write it.
    I can see why you are glad to be done with this storyline! I’m so happy for you, sending great sympathies and big hugs for trying to write the opposite of yourself. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I know. I really can’t believe I spent so much time with Sam. He was really driving me nuts. I totally understand and second you. But I really think being more like Sam is more dangerous than being like Jin. I wouldn’t want to end up being like him, not in a million years. But it really was awful how I had to fight with his thoughts constantly coming to my mind.
      Oh yes, this storyline is finally done.
      Thank you so much! I think such an experience definitely helps you to grow as a writer.
      How is it you ended up here under the epilogue already? I didn’t see you around in quite a bit of this gen’s chapters. Hope Sam didn’t freak you out.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I jumped ahead *looks around* and hoped you wouldn’t notice. But I will go back and finish reading the gen. I’ve not been in the right head space for leaving comments the past month. Even Kymber has been spared my dribble on some of her stuff.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Haha, I don’t mind that you jumped up it’s just that the bonus posts provide a lot of knowledge on Hailey so if you want to start with her gen, you may want to read them first or you will most likely be lost.
        Don’t stress yourself 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  14. I feel a little sad to let go of horrible Sam, his story has been, let’s say, very entertaining! Of course he’s done no wrong, it was always the other’s fault and of course he’s not the one who should change… I’m impatient to hear about Haimley now, hoping she’ll visit her dad in prison…

    Liked by 1 person

I'd love to read your thoughts! ♥

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s