Chapter 4.16 I Am…Sparing my Life for a Sparring

Warning: Swearing.

Hello there. You haven’t seen me for a while, have you?


Well, a few things had changed, such as the fact that I went back to the shaved head. And remember the phase in which I used to wear almost only black clothes? Here we go again. Not that Deq’s statement influenced me in any way, but…

Yeah, you see, it kinda did.


I realized how much I hated wearing colorful clothes and picking matching contacts for them. It was such a completely excruciating, painstaking job and somehow I no longer cared enough to do that. Nor did I want to style my hair anymore. Not even in this tiny bun at the back of my head. No, I changed my value system, I guess. Er, if I ever had one, that is (who am I kidding…).

Writing is getting harder for me these days, you see. Fuck that fucking fuck, I really should stop acting like I’m talking to anyone who is not this damn diary which never responds anyway. But I want someone to listen, so I went back to writing after like…these five last years that I mentioned passing by in my last entry, I think? Oh yes, that’s right. Martial arts are really eating up my time. And when I say it I definitely mean it.

This is when I stop being awkward; I hope.

Adaeze was determined to wear me down as always with these constant trainings at this crazy early hour I never quite got used to. But she had been even worse ever since she was given the black belt and she developed a very strong desire to prove how great she was. She acted like a lioness during our sparrings  and although I was definitely better than I used to be, she was still the number one there.

But Adaeze was no longer my only opponent.

I wasn’t getting it when she told me about some sort of a tournament that takes place in China, where you fight to be ranked a certain rank ranging from one to five–with five being equivalent to becoming the Grand Master. You were supposed to fight with the opponents with different belts and you weren’t allowed to fail a single match or you would lose your rank and have to start all over again. She told me that Deng Weng was the current Grand Master and that no one could beat him. Adaeze said that she didn’t believe I would be able to kick Deng’s ass, but that I had potential for a great rank.


“You could do really great, Sam,” she ensured me, for once with a smile plastered to her face. It all seemed too fishy.

“Why do you suddenly believe in me and all? Why the sudden change?” I asked, not quite understanding what she was getting at.


“Okay, look…I just thought that this  would be good to take down those conservative people here who think they know everything the best. It’s time to show them that not only the foreigner, but a member of the LGBT community could be that good in their traditional art…Something I didn’t manage to achieve,” she looked at me and I knew she was sincere.


“Wait, are you a foreigner?” She sent me a small smile – for some reason she was pretty bountiful with them that day, as opposed to usual.


“Born in Sunset Valley, yes. People here don’t really speak  Simlish that well,” she said curtly.

“So Adaeze’s not…” I began, suddenly eager to find more about the, by that time, enigmatic Adaeze.


“It’s a real name. My grandmother was a local and she engrafted the love for China in me. And so I decided to settle here. Then I met the lost, troubled girl, Biyu, and the rest is history…” It was apparent that she didn’t really want to let on to me.

“So what went wrong?” I continued dwelling on a subject.


“I was told that my grandmother died and it was like my whole world came crushing down. That’s when I started losing matches and you should know that nothing stays a secret in such a small town…Of course they said that a foreigner (it’s really hard not to be one in their eyes and after several generations they’ll still treat you as one), and especially someone who debauched the innocent Biyu, would never be able to earn the title.” Even someone who didn’t like reading other people’s emotions would find it hard not to notice the depth of disappointment and grief in Adaeze’s voice. Maybe that was why she practically always grimaced?

Anyway, even if I didn’t care much about what Adaeze wanted to prove, I agreed to take the challenge, partly because I wanted to show her how I was better than her, but mostly because with every passing day I was growing more and more fond of martial arts and these feelings were quite surprising for I had never grown this type of attachment for anything in my life before.

I previously said that I changed my value system. What I meant by that is I stopped caring about relationships and I realized solitude suited me for I was experiencing a new sort of appreciation and it was much better than the unstable one you receive from your partner. I never loved my partners anyway, so my relationships didn’t have any point besides keeping me physically stable with the sort of appreciation I was getting. But let’s start from the beginning.

As I reached the blue belt, Adaeze started carefully introducing me to the tournament in the way we wouldn’t overlook anything. We had to work out the right strategy that would get me far. Technically you are allowed to take part as soon as you reach the green belt, but Adaeze wanted me to get the thorough training before I attempted fighting with anyone other than her. That’s why we sparred so much and she told me to meditate before every sparring. It was all supposed to prepare me. After all this hassle she signed me up for the tournament. And finally, the big day came and I was introduced to my first opponent.

Lin Hua was good, I must admit. She kept grimacing but not in the familiar way Adaeze did and she was very determined to beat me badly, but I managed to win after predicting her moves and making good use of the stuff Adaeze taught me. I was proud of myself and so was my teacher. It was just a small step toward the title, though.

Soon enough I fought with my next opponent- a man called Li Yuan, who, to my surprise, wore the green belt. I had no idea why he was picked for a ranked match with me, but I managed to easily win, so I couldn’t complain. In all honesty, the fact that he was wearing socks cracked me up.

Zhan Su wore the blue belt like me and he was really experienced, but I was well-prepared. Huge smile lit up Adaeze’s face as I told her that I managed to win this sparring as well. I was truly on a roll.

Sima Zhi, the fat, but surprisingly experienced, female fighter, was my next opponent. These people were all rather good and Adaeze was right to have devoted so much time into my schooling before she introduced me to the tournament. I am not sure if I would beat people like Sima if I didn’t get such a thorough training from her.

As I won my match with Xi Yuan, the fifth match I won in succession, Adaeze told me I needed to take a break and more trainings not to fuck the whole thing up (maybe not exactly her choice of words). I was eager to go on, but she told me that it would be unwise without further preparation. And so I spent more time on my other “hobby” that I did for money.

As I spent more and more time in Shang Simla, I kept on exploring the town and found a lot of dig sites with some ancient rubbish. There was usually rather destroyed and unattractive stuff there, but I managed to trick some collectors into believing that they were worth much more than they did and I used my previous position’s  as a con artist experience to make them look even older and more expensive. After all I had to find a way to earn money and this proved to be rather efficient.


Still, during that time sparrings were my main concern and ever since I got into the tournament thing, Adaeze practiced them with me almost exclusively, omitting all the other martial arts connected training. Due to beating some people I started making my name in the town and that’s what I believed to be better than any relationship. Not only was I appreciated by more than one person, it wasn’t that tiring and all they expected in return was for me to continue winning. I loved the challenge and the competition and nothing mattered for me more to me than to win. As I trained more and more and my muscles hurt and my body was as though I was some superstar athlete, it still was nothing. Adaeze wholeheartedly supported me. We needed to show them who’s the best. And I would do anything to prove that the only winner was me. That’s what I was doing throughout the next two years.

Note: It’s there, it really is! Well, I spent my entire evening doing this and I feel nauseous and I have a major headache as I’m writing this on a late Friday evening. Therefore please forgive the quality of this chapter. I’ll most likely be ill. Take 2: it’s 3 hours before publication and I cleared a few things, so hopefully it doesn’t suck as much. Here is the bonus in case anyone missed its publication on Wednesday.

50 thoughts on “Chapter 4.16 I Am…Sparing my Life for a Sparring”

  1. Oh Sam, Sam, Sam… Not even Genevieve can match the levels of denial going on here 😛 It’s pretty much the only endearing thing about him – deep, deep down, he cares for people’s opinion, and he cares what Deq said. He’s just not happy to admit it.
    This wasn’t a bad chapter. Sorry to hear you’re getting ill, though – get well soon!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah, practically no one can get as far with their denial, can they? Sam denies so many feelings he has, because he wants to be an emotionless bastard, which he is, but only to some extent. He is still a human. Yup, he cares. Otherwise, he’d just go on and not change anything about himself. But, tell it to him 😛
      Oh, I still am not happy with it. I thought yours was completely okay, too, though, so we probably are getting to the same thing yet again – us, writers, being our own worst critics. Thank you so much.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. He is a total pro at denial and at ignoring his softer, more human side. It’s so silly with his ‘Totally not doing this because I care about humans, but I’ve changed again and I’m so smart.’ Oh Sam, honey, you so haven’t changed a bit 😀
        That’s just how it is for writers, isn’t it? 🙂 We can see all the flaws that nobody else can. That’s true for artists of all kinds.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Well, that’s quite my interpretation of the diva trait. I imagined it to work that way for Sam that he’d always need this sort of appreciation and he’d always deny it.
        That’s true! Sometimes, I’m obsessive with all my flaws that are so apparent and shoved in my face as I read my work.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m still lol at the sock wearing sim! 😀

    Sam is really getting far in his martial arts but I agree with Louise above about his level of denial. Although, as a side note, I did like his new shirt and haircut. lol

    Don’t worry about this chapter; I liked it a lot and I hope you feel completely well soon. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol, as soon as I saw him in game I thought: “these are my lucky socks, I will for sure win if I keep them on”. I’m cracking up!
      He really is doing great. I had a whole discussion about Louise and how hilarious it is to write about characters in denial under her new CoM chapter. I love it, too! It reminds me of the time when Sam was new to the criminal career and he was still a smoker in his black clothes. Lol, the amount of metamorphosis he went through in his thirty one years.
      I’m so glad you liked it. I worried it might be a very bad idea to write feeling so bad. Thank you so much 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I really like Sam’s new/old style, I think that’s the one that suits him best…ah, but what do I know? I’m just a girl who has a thing for black wearing bad boys, lmao!
    I agree with the previous comments about Sam being in denial… I guess he could win the ultimate tournament but still he’ll never be happy. He reminds me of his mom in that way.
    On the other hand, I like that he and Adaeze are bonding…well, as much as Sam could bond with anyone that is.
    It was a very good chapter, I really enjoyed it! ❤ I hope you'll feel well soon! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Don’t worry, I like Sam with this style, too. He changes his style so often, haha. But that’s how I imagined him to be with his narcissistic ways. Also, you know, the thing Deq said. His clothes give me self-confidence so he picks carefully. I know you are, LOL.
      That’s true. He probably has more in common with his mother than he realizes… They share the adventurer trait in my game.
      Oh yes, that’s quite lovely he’s bonding with Adaeze. I imagine he’d want a different kind of bonding… Damn it, Adaeze, why did you have to like girls? 😂
      Thank you so much. It seems I am capable of miracles such as writing decent chapters while feeling shitty, unless my chapters are always bad and that’s why, hahaha.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Haha, I love how his shirt at the beginning says ‘haters gonna love this’, it suits him.
    The way you showed the succession of shots for each fight was really cool 🙂 (the guy with the socks was hilarious)
    It was nice to know more about Adaeze and see how she wants Sam to succeed where she couldn’t.
    Wow, Sam with the conning of the things he found XD I would’ve thought he’d halt on his criminal ways whilst on foreign land, guess not. I agree with the previous comments in that, despite what he claims, Sam does actually care what people think. Why else mention that people in town were beginning to know him & that he was developing a reputation.
    The chapter was nice, props again for getting it out on time 🙂 I hope you feel well soon!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I loved it, too, and I couldn’t resist the urge to show Sam wearing it.
      Thank you so much. Don’t tell anyone, but Sam lost with this first girl 3 times in a row until I got a pop-up that he’s a coward XD And that guy came with socks and totally cracked me up.
      Yes, there’s more to Adaeze than she originally let on.
      Yes! I figured it’d be unrealistic if Sam stayed in China for so long, because he needs money to live there and all and I figured the criminal one was what he’d pick since I could no longer imagine him doing a “normal”, honest job.
      He really cares, he needs to be appreciated, which is all connected with his diva trait.
      Thank you so much 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. It was cool reading about his series of fights! I am kinda proud of him for winning them, and as much as I don’t like Sam, I commend him for all the grueling work and focus.
    I wholeheartedly agree with the others about the denial! It’s another thing that makes his character so interesting and unique.
    This chapter was great, I hope you didn’t get too sick ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Wow, you are proud of Sam, that’s surprising since you generally hate him to the core.
      The denial is almost like a definition of Sam. I am so happy you think he’s unique, that’s a huge compliment for me as a writer ❤
      Thank you so much, fortunately I'm rather good today. But yesterday was awful indeed.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. So, we are back to the past. Short hair, black clothes with these wonderful citation. There is one thing which doesn’t fit to the rest, Sam doesn’t have an affair with anyone. That doesn’t sound like Sam who loves to be the center of attention. I know he receives enough attention now but I’m curious how long he will be able to live without an other half. I suppose he won’t last long without the kisses and having sex. We will see him with some handsome guy or pretty girl in a few chapters. I’m glad he is doing great with martial arts. Adaeze is a magnificent trainer. She knew exactly how to prepare Sam to the tournament. Thanks to her he beat the opponents. Adaeze’s history was something I didn’t expect. I wasn’t expecting to find out more about her at all. I was surprised when I find out that she comes from Sunset Valley. I though she is from China. I met her other side and I’m glad she finally unbosom herself to Sam. She knew a lot about him, it’s her turn to speak about herself. I cheer for Sam. Chinese would be surprised when some guy from Twinbrook will reach the tittle of Grand Master. Show them Sam!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. As much as I disagree with Sam in regards to why he changed his look (denial is more than just a river in Egypt) I have to say that I like this look for Sam the best. The short hair and black seem to fit his personality better.
    Although I don’t know if I am rooting for Sam or not. I hope he does well, and breaks through the rough stereotypes that the locals seem to be clinging to. On the other hand I wouldn’t mind seeing him knocked down a peg or two. Sort of bring him back to reality.
    And I was wondering what Sam was doing for money. He is a really good con artist, so this is right up his alley.
    Last, but not least, I hope you feel better!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really love Sam with this look, too. I sort of missed seeing him like that.
      Lol, losing would definitely be good for him. I guess his ego must be so huge with all this winning.
      Sam needed to do something and I found the criminal activity suits him.
      Thank you so much!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. The competitive lifestyle is perfect for Samien, really. His whole life, he’s been set on outdoing everyone around him – it’s good that this drive has finally found such a positive outlet.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Get well soon Jowita.
    I was a little shocked lately to bump with my nose against a closed
    Sims3 page, as I wanted to leave my Rec. for Seth.
    I always enjoyed your beside stories too.
    Well, you will have your reasons to do that.
    Sam _ I think it’s a good decision for him to stay solitude,
    always struggling with his sexual preferences and believing
    not be able to feel love.
    In a way it’s peaking out, that he’s always suffering on this fact,
    and be it in using the f-words that excessfully.
    What a good subject he is for Adaeze, trying to compense her own
    dissapointments through him.
    Would Sam really care about the eagerness to prove something
    as a member of the LGBT community?
    I can’t imagine that.
    Sam only wants to prove himself and no matter,
    how empty and bare of emotions his life till now might have been,
    how many contorsions he made, to find his own appearance,
    this time I think, he’s doing right.
    But I will miss Deq. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much, Doris 🙂
      I decided to close my page because I find it hard to keep up with both it and Word here and there’s not much that keeps me there anymore anyway, so for now it’s closed. It’s Seth v2 anyway, because the older version had installation troubles.
      Sam should definitely give up his dating that doesn’t really have a point because he’s unable to reciprocate the feelings other people have for him.
      Adaeze definitely has her own regrets but in contrary to Sam she doesn’t regret being a member of the LGBT community. It isn’t a choice, but she is okay with being happy with her girlfriend, even though many people do not approve. Sam isn’t chill with his sexuality because he doesn’t approve of it himself. He finds it largely confusing and overwhelming to be bisexual, although he doesn’t want to admit it.
      Oh, the right choice. Finally, Sam!
      I, too, miss Deq. I really grew to appreciate and like this character.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. As it’s been said before, this look is a better one for Sam. He is starting to “grow” as a person, but still has a long way to go in this maturity process. Easy to see that he places himself as his number one focus and to a degree this is a good thing, but he has let himself and his pleasures override everything else and this is when it stops being healthy. Hopefully he will learn to value family ties/bonds before they’re gone or want nothing further to do with him. Looking forward to seeing him fully figure out his place in the sim world/society.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey, Addy!
      Sometimes, I feel, Sam is still this little boy who bullied others and saw nothing wrong with it. After all there is something wrong with the society, not with him, as he’d say it, adding an appropriate swear word.
      He is in a way similar to his mother with his selfishness, but he takes it to a whole new level. Gemma’s emphatic while he isn’t so he doesn’t feel guilty not caring about others. He’ll just shrug and continue walking as someone hurts.
      He should figure out the importance of the family, the problem is, will he ever do that?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can definitely see this side of Sam so thank YOU for wording it much better than I could 🙂 While these aren’t characteristics/traits I normally explore in my story/game, your portrayal really has one thinking about sims and their world. Sam will stay true to Sam and when he does mature, I don’t think he will do a full 360 and turn away from being a bad boy. And in a way this is a good thing because it has your readers growing and thinking alongside him as we consider new possibilities for a main character who is more anti-hero than hero … if this makes sense.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Well, yes, I am always ready to describe Sam. It took me a lot of time and thinking and planning to figure him out and I feel like I still do not fully understand him. It totally makes sense! And I had a reader saying the very same thing about Sam. Good catch.


  11. I feel like I missed the opportunity to see Sam with long hair that’s not in a bun, but that’s okay. Sam is doing his thing and making a name for himself and even though if he was real I wouldn’t like him, I’m glad things are going somewhat well for him.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, we kinda did. But I don’t think I have seen a hairstyle that’s long with both sides shaved for men. Okay, I just didn’t think about it. Lol, I can’t be as hard on Sam as my readers are. I am somewhat of this parent who loves their child too much even though they’re horrible.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Sorry to hear about you feeling ill. 😦 Are you getting better yet?

    I think it’s very interesting when Sam said he wants someone to listen. He may have said that he doesn’t care about other people anymore, but this just shows that it’s not totally true. I think he wants future generations to see him as being an unforgettable legend, and how will they know his story if he doesn’t keep writing it?

    I love Adaeze’s reasoning for getting Sam into the match. I hope he wins just for that!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, kind of. I just want to make it to the end of this week because then I have a really long break, which I am looking forward to!
      This whole Sam’s monologe at the beginning of this chapter was a pretty random idea I got because of feeling awful and having no idea how I was about to write. So I figured Sam wouldn’t know what to say, too, and I moved on to developing his personality more. No idea if it really made sense, but that’s how it came about. Of course he’d want to…unless he messes up really bad and no one would link him to the martial arts anymore…
      Adaeze didn’t have it easy. Still, she isn’t very liked in the community and Shen isn’t the only one who can’t stand her. And then comes Sam who thinks he can mess with her, when the only one she’d do anything for is her dearest Biyu. Sam doesn’t understand this kind of feelings, he’d just want to play with Adaeze as she had been a toy, which is never going to happen.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I realise this was a week ago buuut I hope you felt better soon after posting!!
    Having Sam work towards a tangible goal is actually making me properly root for him for the first time. It’s like I can see he’s really put the time and effort into this goal and now there’ll be a sort of physical reward (beyond being better at martial arts) that appeals to both his ego and a reader’s need to suppot a character. Even better if he’s sworn off relationships for good, so I don’t have to see him treat his partner badly xD At least Adaeze can put him in his place haha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, fortunately I don’t feel so terrible this week.
      It’s great that you can finally connect with Sam and support him through his adventure with the martial arts. I am glad that there is more than hatred than you all feel for him now. I realize Sam isn’t a plesant person at all, but because of writing him, I’ve grown to understand him…as much as you can understand a psychopatic, narcisstic character like him. Because he’s my character, I am still sad when people hate on him.
      He really does need to swear off relationships, because this many can’t be healthy for anyone, when each of them is so destructive and brings no good. Adaeze is a badass, I love her.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. First off, I thought the writing was quite good.

    Secondly, I have never met a person who could be so dense yet clued in to the same level as well. I just keep hoping he will have some big eye opening moment. He won’t though. For I don’t know what it would take at this point.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh I definitely believe he is quite intelligent. Most sociopaths are and since we have already labeled him a narcissist, it precludes his intelligence would be off the charts.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s an explosive combination! Anyway, he’s the most interesting of your characters so far, he doesn’t leave you without an impression – good or bad! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you so much! I’m flattered you enjoy it. Quite honestly Gemma was the first kid that had all her traits randomized in my game. I never expected Sam would get such a crazy roll…

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Wut??? I’m on my tablet and multi-tasking at the moment… *scrolling backwards*
        There it is. I don’t know if it’s because my tablet isn’t very big, but there’s not the usual link to the next chapter, but another link to chapter 15, the unique blogger award and chapter 17. I guess I just jumped ahead!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. On my computer they’re definitely there! Must say I had to pop back to check out your awesome new set-up, as the sparkling didn’t show on my tablet neither – too small screen I guess…

        Liked by 1 person

  15. That look does fit Sam, but I think it’s interesting how he doesn’t even admit things TO HIMSELF. Most people will admit things to their own selfs, just not to others, but Sam doesn’t even admit things to himself. I am glad that he found martial arts, though – it seems to keep him out of trouble by giving him something to work for. I can just imagine all the trouble he would get up to in all the free time he would have without martial arts. I really do think it makes him a better person – even if just a little. With all the training he puts in, he really does deserve to win, and I still love Adaeze and Sam’s friendship – she’s the only person who seems to be able to stand up to him, haha.

    And yep, I’m back over here! I wanted to come over sooner, but I’ve been really busy with school and all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, he doesn’t admit things to himself. Deep down he knows, but he doesn’t let that bother him for too long. He’s trying so hard to convince himself how awesome he is.
      Martial arts is good fo him! But what next? It can’t last forever and then… he might just get in trouble yet again. Adaeze and Sam’s frienship is what I really liked myself while writing. I loved Adaeze!
      Oh, yes, glad to see you on here again. And np, that’s totally understandable with all the work you’ve been doing for both school and Vali’s story.

      Liked by 1 person

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