Warning: Swearing and minor references to sex.
Note: Instagram Generator can be found here. I am still cracking up at Sam’s username, but you’ll see.
It had been four months ever since I hit the road and ended up in this small town in China. My hair was growing hand over fist and I ended up having this annoyingly long hairstyle, which reminded me of why I decided to shave my hair in the first place. Strips of hair were continuously getting in the way and attacking my eyes, unless I treated it with a gel, which fortunately had the ability to keep it in place when applied regularly. So at least it was that.
“There is no royal road to learning”– was one of Adaeze’s favorite sayings and she kept repeating it so consequently that there was no way in which it wouldn’t din in my ears every fucking time I got into anything martial arts connected. This woman really had her own way of teaching that I am not sure how worked, but somehow worked.
Every fucking day she had me up at 5 am and dragged me to the Academy before anyone else showed up because we “needed time for only time could save us”, as she liked to say. Then I was told to train on a training dummy while she was making her faces at me. I swear Adaeze was a master of various grimaces and it was extremely rare to see her beaming. I think she was dissatisfied most of the time and I came to believe that it was with the world in general, not with me in particular. Well, it made things better and when you had a way of seeing them from the right perspective, then the world became like an easy, paved street to walk across. The drawback is that people start to see you as an egomaniac, blinded by his own flights of fantasy. If you cut out people, though, nothing stands as a holdback to this method, which is really just another one great way of coping with life, which is the general goal of every creature right here.
“More passion,” she ordered with another of her signature grimaces.
“It’s not sex,” I protested half-jokingly.
“Not everything centers around sex, darling. Plus you’re just being lazy. I know you can do more than just that slouchy leg stroke.”
“Find us a reasonable training hour, then. I feel like sleeping, not doing physical exercise!”
“Try harder.” Are you sure I’m not fucking you at the moment, darling?
“Fine!” I swiped at the training dummy to the best of my ability and gave it a turn so that it twisted around and went back to its previous position. To my amazement, Adaeze clapped her hands.
“That was good, finally. Let’s move on to the board breaker. Your favorite,” she added with a smirk.
“Now onto the foam boards, darling. You are not going to evade them. No getting an orange belt until you master those.” I sighed in response. To my disappointment ever since I had hurt myself, Adaeze constantly tortured me with those silly foam boards like I was some sort of a beginner. Well, maybe in a way I was, but why treat me like a fool?
“And what are these movements for?”
“To look cool.”
“Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but you look like an idiot.
“See, it worked!” I said after successfully breaking the board. She just sighed in response.
But as she saw me proceeding my magical movements again, she couldn’t endure it. As I did my thing, she performed her own with grace.
“These are the right movements. Yours resemble some silly dance.” Which wouldn’t stop from repeating them, if only to irritate Adaeze.
However, this day was a special one for Adaeze clapped her hands again and said she’d had enough to present me with an orange belt.
I was surprised that four months of hard work didn’t turn out to be fruitless. I genuinely thought I would never make it past the yellow one and yet here I was. In front of the bloody board breaker yet again. As I leaned forward to try my hand at a harder, balsa wood board, Adaeze threw her hands in the air.
“Not at all what we are going for. What’s with the posture? Moments ago it was right and here wrong again. Keep your hand steady and hard and don’t let it loosen or you will hurt yourself again.”
“Not at all. Wait! Hold your horses. Let’s take a break, I see it isn’t going anywhere, so you need another exercise.”
“Adaeze, this is the dumbest thing I’ve done in ages. Am I supposed to feel like a princess in her academy where she is taught to keep a straight posture?” I made a rapid movement and one of the books on my head hit the floor with a loud thump.
“We are in the Academy, Sam. And you are supposed to learn how to keep the right posture, that’s why we do that. And it hasn’t been going well for you so far,” she frowned at the dropped book. I sighed as I took the books from my head and a headed for the dropped one.
“Fuck it, I’m never going to learn this,” I murmured.
When Adaeze finally eased up on the posture training, she said we were going to have another sparring. To my amazement, I managed to perform a few successful strokes.
She kicked my ass badly yet again anyway.
As we had ended it, she laughed it off.
“I could have sex with you if you ever defeated me,” she joked.
“What about a bet?” I suggested, looking at Adaeze’s slim, athletic silhouette.
“You can’t be serious. Haven’t I told you not to hit on a lesbian? I have a girlfriend, hon. Even if I was interested in men, I wouldn’t sleep with you. Never in a million years. Has the yellow-haired one bore you already?”
“You really don’t get jokes.”
“I guess so,” she replied with clear amusement. We both knew it wasn’t a joke at all.
At least I could always impress Adaeze with our regular work out sessions. I really wish she didn’t distract me as much with her delicate curves, which showed as she wore a low-cut top. Life would be one hundred times easier if I wasn’t bisexual. Sometimes I hated my orientation to the bone. Other times I hated Adaeze for being lesbian. When I needed a way to distress, however, there was always Deq.
During the times when Adaeze mercifully let me go and didn’t push me to do more training, I took a tour around the monuments with Deq, who spent most of his time taking photos and writing posts on his journalist blog. He also took care of Heather, which became one of his favorite models.
So I began to find out that what Deq said about his career wasn’t a lie and always wearing “something” on his hand wasn’t either. Yellow hair that started growing back on the back of his hair proved him right that the color was natural. However that didn’t mean that he didn’t lie anymore. He omitted the truth a lot of times, mainly in very small things like where he was or where he left Heather. For example he could tell me on purpose that she was in the bedroom, although he knew she was in the living room. That was for sure irritating, but I somehow learned to live with that. And we had a lot of fun together.
Sometimes we took Heather on a walk to the city center. She always found a way to jump right into the pools with decorative lilies. Neither Deq or I had the ability to stop her.
Who would mind a dog in the water when she seemed to be enjoying it so bad? I for sure didn’t as I felt in my element here as much as she did. I never thought I would feel like I belonged, but here it was different. Not in my wildest dreams, however, did I think I would spend exactly fifteen years in China.